A Senior Moment: Not sure that I get along with this ‘progress’

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Being away on a short break, I’m using a strange computer to write my pearls of wisdom, so you could well get a column full of gobbledegook this week. What’s new you might ask?

There’s nothing wrong with it – the computer that is, it’s a very smart laptop. It’s just that I’m not used to it and my twinkly digits have turned into a bunch of bananas. And, with a more advanced version of Windows, nothing is where it should be.

I wouldn’t mind but funny little uninvited boxes keep popping up – trying to tell me something, or flog me something. It’s all very distracting. Why can’t those techno-geeks leave things alone and stop messing about with something that’s working well in the first place? It’s called progress I gather.

It has to be said my faithful old clunker is past its sell by date - bit like me really, but you know what they say about good tunes and old fiddles, so nothing daunted I am pecking away regardless. Trouble is, when I touch type at my normal lightening speed, it all ends up looking like globshimus or even grobshisk.

So it’s back in the slow lane - nothing’s worse for the creative juices than having to correct every single word!

Meeting my copy deadline could also be a problem as it seems to require a science degree of some kind. But my loving grandchildren are on hand to sort it out for me, which is why we are in foreign parts – well Hertfordshire actually, looking after them. Though if truth be told, it’s more a case of them looking after us these days!

It’s certainly enlightening to be living in a house full of teenagers again (only two but it seems like a house full) and brings to mind the GCSE results furore.

I suspect many oldies have viewed the year on year improvements with a degree of scepticism.

Not wishing to belittle achievements of hardworking youngsters, sometimes the upward curve has seemed too good to be true - borne out by employer reaction. So I have to express a measure of support for attempts to ensure examination results reflect ability and are not allowed to degenerate over time.

But and it’s a huge one, raise the bar by all means - that can only be good for hardworking children and their future employers, but to change the goal post in the middle of a school year is outrageously unfair.

If Ofqual are incapable of getting it right they should be replaced before damaging another generation’s chances in the workplace.

Incidentally, I bet teenagers loved the story about the thief who stuffed 20 stolen mobile phones down his trousers but was caught when police rang one of them. Apparently a victim had traced her missing iPhone to McDonald’s - using a tracking application, called the police who entered the restaurant and dialled her number. I guess you could say he was well and truly caught with his pants down!