A Senior Moment: Ambulance idea is latest wheeze from EU politicians

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With EU elections looming, you might think those ‘Brussels-spouting’ politicians in Strasbourg would be a little more circumspect about dumping even more bizarre ideas on an increasingly critical public.

But oh dear no. The latest wheeze from those wonderful people who brought us straighter bananas, is to have an ambulance on permanent standby outside the EU headquarters at a cost of £200,000. Not as one might expect, to collect worse-for-wear MEP’s after a hard day’s shuttling back and forth on high-speed gravy trains, but because “the stress of voting is a health and safety risk.” I suppose pressing those electronic voting buttons is a bit dodgy, you could easily break a finger nail - ‘though it’s much more likely to be a leg in the rush to the bar I suspect! And even from our homespun politicians I wish I could now believe we’ve heard it all - but I bet there’s plenty more where that came from on both sides of the tunnel. One frequently gets the impression - what with naughty pranks in the corridors of power, open cooking of books in barbecues on the terrace and daily dollops of dastardly deeds all around the Houses, nobody really gives a damn what we mere mortals think any more.

So, if we’re getting this kind of exemplary leadership from suits in high places, it’s not surprising we seem to be entering a new era of double standards. Don’t do as I do, do as I say, appears to be the norm in many questionable decisions by those in authority who really should know better. I would be very surprised if there wasn’t a disturbed beehive-buzzing-backlash of anger from hundreds of mums and dads about the Leicestershire primary school head teacher being given term-time off by school governors, while being threatened with fines if they do the same.

So the lady in question was being rewarded because she had “worked extremely hard over the past two years.” So what? So have millions of mums and dads. Why should they continue to be penalised by a greedy travel industry loading their holiday costs by thousands of pounds, while so-called ‘role models’ are allowed to get away with bending the rules?

But never mind the failings of the politicos, the police or the paedophile patrols, cast it all aside in the sure and certain knowledge there’s a new breed of superhero out to save the good guys from the bad guys. Is it a plane? No. Is it a bird? Yes, it’s Wunsy the wonder-bird - an African Grey parrot who saw off an attempted assault on her owner in a North London Park. With much squawking and beating of wings the attacker was soon put to flight leaving owner - 25 year old Rachel Mancino, shaken but not deterred from walking her brave little bird. And Wunsy’s reward? A delicious meal of fruit, vegetables and of course nuts - which brings us right back to Brussels!